So tired.

And so much to do.

New hair. (Taken with instagram)

New hair. (Taken with instagram)

It’s not everyday…

That I have to ask my mother where the sledgehammer is.

Strange. And totally serious.

My last night with my darling Fiona.

Me and Fiona hanging for the last time. Not sure I am actually going to be able to do this Tom. This absolutely perfect car that I paid $1500 for, trading for a brand new, but nowhere near perfect, car for $17000. ;( I love this car. She just won’t last much longer. Actual tears in my eyes right now.


Is anybody else going crazy?

I feel weird.

Different. Changed. Oddly, suddenly, indescribably.


1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

If I were to die today, I would have none of these regrets. :) I try to live “simply” in the sense that I stick to the basics - I do what I want, what makes me happy. To hell with what others think, because be real, how does what one person thinks actually affect you? I have moments of deep sadness like everyone does and I do things that I wish I hadn’t sometimes. But when it boils down to it, I have to say, I am a truly happy person. I have friends, family, time to myself, I only do work that I love, and in return for kindness that I give to others, I receive kindness. I am happy.

(Source: absurdlakefront, via lameles-deactivated20130124)


“Use sadness to learn about yourself”


“Use sadness to learn about yourself”

(Source: allmymetaphors, via lameles-deactivated20130124)


(via A Poem For Swingers by Charles Bukowski | All Nerd Everything)

Makes me feel better about being single.